From c598386@showme.missouri.edu Mon Jun 24 17:37:38 1996 Received: from franklin.vf.lmco.com by sde.mds.lmco.com (4.1/LMCO SunOS Server Domain-1.1) id AA06242; Mon, 24 Jun 96 17:36:49 EDT Received: from dekalb.vf.mmc.com (dekalb.vf.mmc.com [192.35.35.21]) by franklin.vf.lmco.com (8.7.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id RAA25392 for ; Mon, 24 Jun 1996 17:36:14 -0400 (EDT) Received: from mail.missouri.edu (mail.missouri.edu [128.206.2.169]) by dekalb.vf.mmc.com (8.7.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id RAA26530 for ; Mon, 24 Jun 1996 17:36:13 -0400 (EDT) Received: from black.missouri.edu (black.missouri.edu [128.206.2.222]) by mail.missouri.edu (8.7.3/8.7.3) with ESMTP id QAA33024; Mon, 24 Jun 1996 16:36:06 -0500 Received: (from c598386@localhost) by black.missouri.edu (8.7.3/8.7.3) id QAA72492; Mon, 24 Jun 1996 16:35:18 -0500 Date: Mon, 24 Jun 1996 16:35:17 -0500 (CDT) From: Amy *Brangwen* Jarvis X-Sender: c598386@black.missouri.edu To: Jeff , Leah , Dave , Robin , boner Subject: Hallmark Failures (**) (fwd) Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1441 X-Lines: 35 Status: RO GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK ------------------------------------------------------ 1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one... I got real snippy. 2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I'd say "Get well soon"...but I know it's incurable. 3. My tire was thumping....I thought it was flat....when I looked at the tire....I found your cat... Sorry! 4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends.... here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... look at the bright side, she's a really good lay. 7. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be...Don't fret about your wife though... She's moving in with me. 8. Your computer is dead... and it was so alive... you shouldn't have installed... Win'95. 9. You totalled your car... and can't remember why... maybe it was... that case of Bud Dry 10. So you lost your job... It's one of those hardships in life... Next time, work harder... and stay away from the boss's wife.